Keke Chronicles: "YOU NO GO GO BUY YOUR OWN MOTOR?"

In the space of 10 minutes, I was told by two different persons that I should be driving my own car. They said it in a derogatory manner, but don't know that somehow, they've agreed with me in faith.

The first person was a street trader who was trying to 'shed' her wears on the road. I was jejely standing on my own by the road, waiting for a keke to drive by. She was straightening out a black nylon she had already spread on the road next to where I was standing. There was another unfolded one on the floor and I suspected she was going to spread it too. So I just stood there when she picked the second one up and said, 

"Shift make I shed my market." 

I stood still, like I didn't hear anything. She then attempts to spread it, not minding that I was standing there. While bending, she put her butt in my face (not literally though). A keke had stopped in front of me, so I just walked towards it and told her, 

"Na you get the road? No worry, dem go soon pursue una comot for here."

'Madam' got angry and said plenty things. Like how the road is wide and I should have just moved. But funny thing is there was still space (lots of it) on the other side of her 'shed'. Now I don't know if the 'owners' of the road measured where each street trader should sell. And we say we have a Task force on illegal markets and street trading o. Smh!

      Uniport/Aluu Road: Vehicle belonging to the Task force on Illegal Markets, Parks and Street Trading by the corner. Motorcycles parking indiscriminately in sight.

_________

The most important thing she said to me was,

"You no go go buy motor, you dey here dey enter Keke!" 

She stuttered as she tried to say some other things, but because there was no point exchanging words with her, all I said to her was,

"You dey find wetin to use curse me?"

Someone in the Keke helped me laugh as we drove off. Same person who laughed tried to be sympathetic with her, stating that that's how they survive. 

As if this wasn't enough, the very Keke driver picked up a mechanic on the way. The mechanic was clad in his full DIRTY and STAINED coverall. The annoying thing was that he didn't even care if he was rubbing off the stains on me as he entered  the rickshaw. I was pissed. 

"Which kain wahala be this?" I asked rhetorically. 

"Where the wahala?" was his reply, and since he didn't SEE the wahala, I ask if he wanted to rub all the dirt on his work clothes on me.

That I called it 'wahala' was his own palava. He saw nothing wrong with it and saw no reason to apologise. Instead he said,

"You no go go buy motor?"

"We get plenty problem for this country!" That was my response, and because the driver who 'unwisely' (I won't call his action stupid) stopped to pick him in the first place was pleading with us to stop the exchange, I just kept quiet and thought deeply about my predicament. 

So, my conclusion is, it's either #BigBaby gets this motor she's been praying for soon, double her effort to enlighten people, or cut out of this country! I cannot come and kee myself!