THE MAN, THE DRIVER AND THE JOURNEY TO CHURCH

"Oga free us make we go nau!" The driver kept shouting as he frantically turned the key in the ignition, in an attempt to get the bus to start. The bus kept hiccuping, but refused to start.

The Man opened the door and stepped down from the bus. The eyes of all the passengers followed him as he walked away and stopped a rickshaw otherwise called 'Keke'.

Then I began questioning myself. Was it the man that CURSED the vehicle to halt? Did he possess special powers that we weren't aware of? Was he going to do more than he did to the driver? Why didn't the driver just keep quiet!?

I usually have two routes to choose from every Sunday. This particular Sunday, I decide to change from the regular to the 'not regular'. The first bus I approached was parked by the roadside, because it appears the Taskforce on illegal parks have their break on Sundays. I entered the bus and sat down, but the seat was bad so I stepped down to look for another vehicle.

As usual, you'd see vehicles that pretend they're on their way, not parked. I see one of such and I'm happy that I won't have to wait for the vehicle to get filled up before we move. Alas, it was a wrong move to take. We moved quite alright, but stopped a million times on the road to pick passengers standing by, as well as imaginary ones.

The driver and conductor took more time than was necessary, trying to fill up the bus. It took more time to do this than the time we would've spent waiting for the bus to be full. The driver would slow down at certain junctions, and the conductor would shout,

"Carry them! Carry them!!", even when there was nobody to carry.

It got some of the passengers upset, leading to an argument in the bus between an elderly man and the driver. The Man was seated at the front, by the door, with another male passenger between him and the driver. The Man wasn't rude in any way when he complained of the delay the driver and conductor were causing, but the driver, obviously not comfortable with the reprimand, took it to heart.

"No be only you dey this bus na!"

I was seated right behind the driver, so I told him bluntly,

"Driver, no be because we no dey talk you go think say we no dey vex o. Abi you no dey hear people wey dey complain for back?", I lashed out at him.

I tried explaining how annoying him and his conductor had been and he almost saw reason with me, safe for the elderly man who was still pissed. Instead of the driver to allow The Man vent, he started responding to the man. So the man continued talking.

"I have three children that are older than you. One is in South Africa. She bought me this bag", he said while lifting up the bag for the driver and anyone who cared to see.

"I am not frustrated like you! You hear me? You are frustrated that is why you are a driver and you are not doing anything better than this! When I was your age, I know what I had achieved. Look at your body, mark's and wound everywhere. If you look at my body, no scratch!", he continued.

All the while, the driver was interjecting here and there with snide that urged the man on. When the man took a break, the driver didn't let him:

"Continue talking o! If you stop, na your shame.", the driver spat at The Man.

As expected, it added salt to injury as The Man continued his rant.

"You are the one with shame. That is why on a Sunday morning you are on the road driving and working".

Some young guys who had been laughing at the exchange between the two men, making funny remarks behind me responded to The Man,

"But oga if him no dey road now, how you go go church?". He didn't hear them but continued schooling the driver.

"I have a job and I am not suffering like you. I know where I was when I was your age. Look at me! At my age, I am still looking like this. I am 66 years old if you don't know. And I am not suffering like you. If you're looking like this now, how would you look when you're my age now? See my bag, you don't know how much it cost for my daughter to buy it and she bought three of them from South Africa!"

"Only your bag? What of your shirt?", the driver asked.

"But look at you wearing singlet. Which is better?", The Man responded.

The driver who had a singlet on, pulled a shirt which he hung on his seat and showed the man.

"Oga see my shirt. This one even dey more expensive than your N150 polo wey you buy for Mile One.", the driver answered.

I felt the driver was losing concentration and it wouldn't be nice if anything happened and I didn't try to calm their nerves. So I spoke to the driver,

"Driver, concentrate on the road and stop talking back. Just ignore it. Allow him express his anger when he's done he'll stop".

But the driver refused. I tried the Papa too, with the lady next to me also chipping in some words, but he wouldn't listen either. The driver still adamant goes,

"If you stop na your shame o! You say na church you dey go but you dey insult person before you reach."

"In the Bible, when people were selling in the church, Jesus flogged them out because they were stupid like you. So I will talk to you" was The Man's reply.

Everyone who heard this burst into laughter, including me. 😂😂😂

Those who didn't hear requested that the two men increase the volume of their voices, so they won't miss out on the fun.

"See, oga I get three children for house. Two boys, one girl. As you see me so, I take care of them..." the driver went on.

I noticed something remarkable in all of this. The man sitting in-between this crossfire did not utter a word. For over 10 minutes or more that the exchange ensued, he was completely mute, as though he couldn't hear a word. Or maybe he couldn't. 🤷‍♀️ I pointed it out to the lady next to me, and she laughed.

To cut the long story short, a passenger told the driver he was stopping. The driver drives to the corner to stop for him to alight. He puts off the ignition. The passenger gets off. The driver turns the key and tries to start the vehicle, but it doesn't start. He tries over and over again. He kicks and kicks until the conductor suggests they check the battery. Some passengers ask if it's petrol, ⛽ he says no.

He keeps trying, turns to The Man and jokingly pleads with him. The Man doesn't utter a word! Since he had already paid the conductor, he opens the door quietly, steps down, and walks away.🚶‍♂️😂

We all watch him as be boards a Keke to continue his journey. The driver calls out to him again, in a more serious tone this time, but it was too late.

The driver keeps trying. When he realizes the bus wouldn't start, he directs the conductor to put everyone in another vehicle. Some passengers had already alighted by now. One tells the driver,

"See wetin you don cause? Wey you for just keep quiet since allow the man. Now our journey don get k-leg!"