Stop Groping Women!

The word 'groping' has recently received prominence as a result of revelations in Hollywood and America in general. It's an offence in ths US to touch a woman in an unwanted and unexpected sexual way or to have committed the act in the past (maybe a time that it was passively permissible). This is because groping is an act of abuse, and can be classified as violence against women.

In Nigeria however, we are still grappling with mundane issues such as rape, female genital mutilation and patriarchy to start considering what may be considered as trivial in these climes. An ordinary day in the market makes you prone to groping in Nigeria. We are yet to understand abuse in any other term not connected to the application of force. You go to the market to buy foodstuff or get wares. The male vendor not only wants to make ends meet by selling off his goods, but also attempts to flex his muscles, show that he is stronger and how you should  succumb to his pressure, just to buy his wears. In the markets which are never organized or spacious, you are either confronted by the business man or his apprentice who calls you endearing names to catch your attention. 

Now you may have no option but to walk through the aisle (dont know if they qualify as one), as that's the only part of the market where the pair of jeans you need can be found. You practically squeeze yourself between these men just to get closer to where the blue and well folded jeans are stacked. Then suddenly, someone grabs your hand and as you try to wriggle out of his grip, it gets tighter. You stop in your tracks and the voices around you increase but you cant really make out much of what they're saying. Yes, another prey has fallen into their trap. "Nkechi, how far? Calm down jor. Come try this jeans. Na your size", one of the men retorts, holding up a pair of blue skinny jeans in his hands for you to see. "Na low-waist o. See na, see" he continues, flipping the trousers around to show off the waistline and back pockets. Another one goes "Heys! Baby óku. Felicia! I get your size o. "

Meanwhile you're still trying to set yourself free from the man who is gently pulling you with his hand firmly gripped around your wrist. You look him straight in the eyes and he says, "Come see wetin I get na. Stock jeans wey go mark you well. Fine Tiwa Sawage jeans. Just come." "Common leave me alone!" you say as you try even harder with your free hand to release his grip. Another one holds your second hand as you try that, all the while you're pushing and trying to get away from them. You turn and sternly tell him to stop it. He lets go and so does the other man as he reaches his stall. All the while your handbag is tucked securely underneath your armpit and your mind flips to the wad of cash you had kept in your wallet, hoping that it was well hidden among the clutter in there. Phew!! Some freedom at last! They've had some fun I guess and dont give two hoots about how their victim feels.

One definition of the word 'grope' from the Merriam Webster Dictionary is "to search for something by reaching or touching usually with your fingers in an awkward way." This reminds me of something some guys do when they shake you. If you're a lady reading this, tell me you've experienced this lots of times and I I'll believe you. So just incase you pretend that you don't know what I'm talking about, it happens in the process of a handshake, and involves the opposite sex using his index finger to tickle your palm. Truth is it's awkward, and some guys claim they don't know what it implies. But I know they do, and it's usually 'dirty minded' guys that do this. So I'll classify this as 'groping' since it connotes something sexual.

In my opinion, violence just like abuse comes in many ways. It could bs physical, mental, psychological. It could be directed at either gender, so let's not think this is all about femnism. However, there are more cases of violence or abuse against women, hence the need for a campaign and a special day set aside to remind us that violence against women and girls must end. The essence of this post is because today, November 25th is International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women and the theme of the campaign for 2017 is “Leave no one behind: end violence against women and girls.” So as a developing society, we have to be mindful of how we treat women, men especially because you may be violating her rights as a person, and like I said, it may not be forceful but subtle. So let's Orange the world together, as the future is indeed bright. 

 Photo credit: United Nations